keto ?

 I keep getting upset at dad for not wanting to help me.

I'm almost 18 so I guess he doesn't have to by then, but even so he didn't help me when I was 15. Its not that wanting me to be independent is the reason he won't help, its just that helping me- and by that I mean stop buying shit food- is too much of an inconvenience because he wants his fuckass chocolate hot cross buns. It irritates me horribly, so much so that looking at him annoys me. Not buying trash food will help him and my sister too, but noo. 

I feel so ugly, I am ugly, I look ugly. I'm young, in my prime and I should not be wallowing in ugliness like this. I'll never be this young again, so I want to be as happy as I can be. Feeling ugly on the inside and having the outside reflect it should not be part of this experience, it should never be. I'm not supposed to waste these years looking and feeling like shit. I want to change that and he does not understand. He doesn't understand how being objectively ugly can ruin a teenage girl's brain. He doesn't understand how sluggish and worn out I feel because of the shit I am eating and how it's impacting every aspect of my life. He doesn't know what it feels like to be fat.

I can express myself better through writing, maybe I should just show him these entires instead of trying to articulate my problems via speech- because he doesn't fucking listen. I'm pressing the keys on my laptop so unnecessarily hard as I type this, I'm so irritated. 

I realise that I need to do this on my own and that he will not help me because he doesn't care enough too. Sugar is too important to him.
I'm going to start working towards a full on keto diet, I hate androgen.