ugly

 I need to tell dad how ugly I feel tonight. It directly works against me in conjunction to my eating problem. I need to tell dad about my food addiction AGAIN. I'm annoyed. I just talked to him about my hair and wanting a haircut and I told him about how the last hairdresser fucked up my hair and he didn't care. He's a guy and yes they care about their appearance too and are often insecure, its different as a girl. Very very different. My hair is the only thing that makes me feel pretty and I'm going to try to make him understand that. 

I was feeling motivated today, about food and exercise and looking better in general, but after talking to him it kinda just faded away. 

I know that when I open with this topic he's going to laugh and tell me every teenager goes through this. That is true, but the thing is, not every teenager is actually ugly. I am ugly. I know I am ugly because the world tells me I am. If I were pretty people wouldn't wait for me to degrade myself to then finally call me pretty.

progress

 I'm not doing good, I've made no progress. Why did it take me two years to lose 8kg?