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dicknailIm half Samoan, half Indian. I feel absolutely no connection to either ethnicities nor cultures because I barely interacted with either sides of my family and my parents made no effort to extend their culture to me. There were no islanders at my school and all the Indian kids were bullied for being Indian, they were ashamed and never showcased their culture- I wasn't bullied because I look more Samoan than Indian. When people made racist remarks about either South Asians or Polynesians it didn't effect me in the slightest because I lacked that connection so badly.
I didn't know my own race until I was in year 7. Maybe I was just really stupid but my mum never really disclosed to me that we were Indian. I didn't have any family here to tell me either. She'd always say we're Fijian- which is partially true since she was born and raised in Fiji, but I wasn't. That's more her nationality than anything. At school when teachers would ask me about my ethnicity I'd just say Fijian because that was all I was told, but they'd look at me and go, "Fiji-Indian?" I always just nodded because I didn't know better to correct them, I don't look Fijian in the slightest so they assumed I was something else, I guess. I started going around calling myself Fiji-Indian, I still do it sometimes honestly just to make mum happy. She likes being called and referred to as Fijian.
I now know that my mum doesn't like the label Indian because she dislikes the culture- specifically how Indian culture treats women, which is a fair critique, but withholding me from the entire culture was unnecessary.
My dad would always just call me a Kiwi, which again was true because I was born in New Zealand, but that's my nationality, not my ethnicity. I'd flop between calling myself a New Zealander and Fiji-Indian. I never socialised outside of school either so nobody could've told me what I was.
I have no traits that really mark me as either Samoan or Indian- or even a blend of the two. The only thing I really have is my hair which would explain why I put such an emphasis on it and maybe why I feel so nauseous when I straighten it or let anyone see my hair in a "vulnerable" state
I didn't know my own race until I was in year 7. Maybe I was just really stupid but my mum never really disclosed to me that we were Indian. I didn't have any family here to tell me either. She'd always say we're Fijian- which is partially true since she was born and raised in Fiji, but I wasn't. That's more her nationality than anything. At school when teachers would ask me about my ethnicity I'd just say Fijian because that was all I was told, but they'd look at me and go, "Fiji-Indian?" I always just nodded because I didn't know better to correct them, I don't look Fijian in the slightest so they assumed I was something else, I guess. I started going around calling myself Fiji-Indian, I still do it sometimes honestly just to make mum happy. She likes being called and referred to as Fijian.
I now know that my mum doesn't like the label Indian because she dislikes the culture- specifically how Indian culture treats women, which is a fair critique, but withholding me from the entire culture was unnecessary.
My dad would always just call me a Kiwi, which again was true because I was born in New Zealand, but that's my nationality, not my ethnicity. I'd flop between calling myself a New Zealander and Fiji-Indian. I never socialised outside of school either so nobody could've told me what I was.
I have no traits that really mark me as either Samoan or Indian- or even a blend of the two. The only thing I really have is my hair which would explain why I put such an emphasis on it and maybe why I feel so nauseous when I straighten it or let anyone see my hair in a "vulnerable" state
