misc

[dicknail]

Some short updates since it's been a while.

I went on a Year 12 mission trip to Fiji, we renovated a church. I got into a relationship with my friend that I knew wouldn't end well and it didn't, he admit to doing something when we were still friends that I couldn't look past and we broke up as quickly as we had gotten together. I'm not nearly as sad as I feel like I should be.

I snuck into his hotel room the night before we flew back and it got touchy, I suppose. I felt more anxiety than I did excitement or joy or arousal.

I miss him, but I miss him as a friend, not a boyfriend.



I got a far higher ATAR than I was expecting to get, I'm able to get into the courses I want to. A genuine surprise, I was so happy. I now have enough time for a job, though I'm starting with volunteer work just to ease myself into it since I have that luxury. 

I'm excited for uni too, I've been trying to be optimistic about it. The idea of starting over and meeting new people is exciting.



I'm 290 days (nearly 10 months) self harm free! I'm still struggling with binges, but I'll get there. I'm trying really hard to love and enjoy the process and not fixate on the goal.



It's late and I'm supposed to get up early tomorrow so good night or good morning or good afternoon!

Comments

[tuesday_morning]

Hello again, and congratulations on being almost 10 months self-harm free! That's probably a really good feeling, and I'm proud of you for making it so far! But yes, I think in the end it's more about the journey than about the destination, if that makes sense... like, finding ways to make life feel more comfortable in your day-to-day life instead of feeling like it's barely tolerable and pushing yourself through it every single day. It works twofold because then it makes life feel more enjoyable while also assisting you more with trying to reach those goals in a way where you're not constantly focusing on doing everything "right".

Regardless, though, I still am proud of you for your progress, and I wish for your continued success! :)

[dicknail]

Hi!! Thank you so much and you are absolutely right^^ !